Hello Kitty and Whoppi

If you don't know who this bow-adorned feline is then you clearly have not been in my classroom. There are days that I feel like if I see another Hello Kitty t-shirt, necklace, stencil, pencil, keychain, lunchbox, figure, or the like I'll slit my wrists with a Hello Kitty ruler (mostly because it would be the sharpest thing I could find in my room). Yeah - she's cute and I'm sure totally cuddly but not really my thing. With that said, I have never paid close attention to the details of this cat. Today, it was brought to my attention that she has no mouth. One would think that the mouth is a pretty key feature to the face how could I have not noticed before. I think it's kind of like the fact that Whoppi Goldberg has no eyebrows.

If you didn't notice before you will now EVERY time you see her. It's just one of those things you would think you would notice but don't. Well let me tell you how I learned about the missing Hello Kitty mouth. This is a true story. Like I said before, I just can't make this stuff up. So I'm testing and the kiddos are enjoying free friday activities. One student is using a Hello Kitty stencil to clone this cat about 50 times over.

Kid#1: Hey - why doesn't Hello Kitty have a mouth? (a question we now all want to know the answer to)

Kid#2: Because it wasn't on the stencil. (Their logic blows my mind)

Kid#1: Well how can she meow? (Another excellent question)

Kid#3: It's a girl .... and a cat. (That answers it ... ???)

Kid#1: What? Cats meow. That doesn't make sense. I asked why she didn't have a mouth.

Kid#3: She had cancer.

Kid#2: No she didn't.

Kid#1: How does that mean she doesn't have a mouth.

Kid#3: It was mouth cancer. When the doctors took away the cancer they took away her mouth.

Kid#1: That's dumb!

Kids ... the very foundation of my daily entertainment!!

More stories to come .... time to start my weekend!

Curse the Smart Phone

I am one of very few who have not fallen victim to the smart phone hype. There are two reasons. One - I don't want to pay for a data plan (I don't have THAT many people to communicate with). Two - I don't need a device that is smarter than I am ... I have friends for that.

Well I now have a third reason to hate smart phones.

I'm working with a small group of students reviewing word families. I gave them their word family -ap and had them write as many words as they could that belong to that family. For those of you unfamiliar with my tricky teacher lingo a word family is basically a groups of words that end with the same sound and spelling. For example the -ip family would include (but is not limited to) tip, chip, whip, lip, drip. Or the -et family would include pet, wet, vet, set, let, etc. Now that we are all on the same page, I am sure you are expecting words such as lap, tap, clap, map, rap, etc. to be inducted into the -ap family.

Teacher Lesson Number 1: Always expect the unexpected and never underestimate the thought process of a 6 year old.

With that being said one student share this word gpsap. Yes - she clearly displayed her ability to add -ap to the end to make it a part of the family. I explain that gpsap is not a real word but I was glad she could apply the word family rule. To my surprise I hear "It is word - hello!" The following took place.

Me: No - gpsap is just letters with ap at the end.

Kid: No - it's a real thing.

Me: Ok. Can you explain to me what it is?

Kid: Yeah - you can get one on your phone and it tells you where to go.

Touche. How can you argue with that logic? A GPS app .. for a stupid smart phone. They are now infiltrating my teaching arena!!

Sanity Breaking Point

I have spent the last three weeks contemplating jobs that do not require me to think, only take a few hours each day, and are in not way related to children.

Coming back from winter break is always a little something special. You know that classic line from "It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas"? C'mon - you know when the lyrics whisper the magical words "And Mom and Dad can hardly wait for school to start again" ... there's a reason they can't wait. However, I could wait all year for their return (longer if I had to). Why you ask. Well let's think this through - like an experiment of sorts.

Take 20 six year olds who have been excited about EVERY holiday since October 1st when they realized Halloween was around the corner, give them 2 weeks off without your constant teachery supervision, have them receive gifts and candy within that 2 week period, THEN ask them to return to a candy free, routine stricken, toyless world where they are expected to return to their pre-break habits.

Catchin' my anti-excitement for student return? GOOD! For added pleasure, when they came back, we jumped right into testing. So for 3 weeks now, our routine has gone down the proverbial crapper and in their tiny little brains testing season means P-A-R-T-Y!

But between the return and my current new career day dreams there have been MANY stellar quotes. Most of which deserve their very own personalized post ... which shall be granted. But for those quotes that, like the cheese, stand alone, I will add to this post.

"Ms. D - if I put this brownie in my pants can I keep it?" ... wondering if they can take their brownie from lunch.

Kid coloring a spork with a black marker.

Me: What are you doing?

Kid: (Looking around the room) Umm ... making batman.

Talking with a student at lunch about her brother that also attends the school

Me: How's your brother doing?

Kid: Which one? The tall one, the skinny one, or the old one?

Me: Umm ... the one in 4th grade

"Ms. D - Why are your toes so big and fat?" ... excellent question!