One Word

Have you ever been talking to someone or thinking about something or listening in on other peoples' conversations (no? that's just me??) and a specific word or phrase instantly turns you into the next American Idol? I know you know what I'm talking about. That one word that triggers a chorus line from a song you love ... or hate ... and you can't help but start singing.

For instance the word 

has the amazing ability of summoning the musical talents of 

THE SUPREMES

(STOP in the name of love ...)

MC HAMMER

 (STOP it's hammer time ...)

And of course who can forget

VANILLA ICE 

(STOP collaborate and listen ...)

This morning I had one of the moments and it reminded me of a classroom classic that I almost completely forgot about. Since it's summer and I don't seem to have much to do nor do I want to do much I decided to take the time and share. 

One blissful day (haha yeah right) my kiddos were just getting on my nerves. You'd think after 100+ days they would have figured out the whole "rules" system. But alas, the shouting out continued, the tattling went on, the "what am I supposed to do?" was still asked. During carpet time, I finally stopped and gave them a piece of my mind ... which they never seemed to take. At one point I told them that their choices were making me mad. Before I could continue, from the back of the room I hear in a soft yet audible voice .... "m-m-m-m-m-m-mad mad mad"

As a teacher, sometimes you just can't stay m-m-m-m-m-m-mad mad mad in moments like that. I ended up laughing and moving on with whatever it was that we were doing that day. Now every time I hear that song I think of that musical moment where one word triggered a singing sensation that transformed a mad teacher into a not so mad teacher. Thank you Muse for your inspired lyrics! 

Kids really DO say the darndest things

Bill Cosby had the right idea .... I should have started my own television show. 

It would have worked out great. It would air weekly and I most likely wouldn't be in charge of making sure it happened. Clearly I fail at follow through with this blog. But alas, I am pretty sure I didn't even want to be a teacher when this show came out. Yet here I am. A teacher. With quotes from kids. Because kids really DO say the darndest things. Here are just a few gems from the past school year. Since we are already on a t.v. show inspired post, I shall present these delightful tidbits in a Letterman TOP 10 inspired fashion. 

10. I often tell my kids to knock of their shenanigans. It's a lot nicer than what I want to say sometimes. One day a kid was goofing off and before I could exclaim my annoyance another kid shouted on my behalf  "HEY - knock off your mannequins!"


9. On our way back from bathroom break, I over hear a kid say "My sh** smells great!" Well we don't use those words at school so I respond with a shocking "WHAT?!" The kid replies "My sh**." He grabs his shirt and smells it. "It smells great!" Between bouts of laughter I politely correct him "Your shirt smells great."

8. When spring break is around the corner, everyone gets a little antsy and some things that normal wouldn't bother me just do. After asking a certain student to stop talking multiple times I finally ask "Why do I still hear you talking?" Clearly he didn't get the point and tries to keep talking. I tell him that I don't want to hear him right now and that he will have to tell me later. Since I wasn't a listening ear and he was going to say something anyways he just shouts "Well I want to be a flying squirrel." The kid next to him chimes in with "OH! OH! I want to be a reticulated python." How do you respond to that? Well here's how I responded - "Great! Well guess what? Neither one of those talk - ready, go!" Needless to say it was a very quiet week before spring break. 

7. The difference between men and women from the eyes of a first grader. At this point in the year the weather was in transition so it was still a bit chilly in the morning but sweltering in the afternoon. After school I asked a student why he was still wearing his jacket and if he was hot?  And action -  Kid: "Yes but I don't mind sweating." Me: "Really? I don't like to sweat that much." Kid: Ms. D ... I'm a man and you're a woman. Men sweat a lot. That's how you know they are a man." And to think, I've been looking for other qualifiers this whole time. 

6. My kiddos had a word list packet that they had to read off to me in order to move on to the next list of words. When I had check off time, they would make a line to pass off their word list. One day (due to some unforeseen chaos) I wasn't able to get to very many of them. I informed them that I was done checking lists and it was time to clean up. A student who, as I like to imagine but I'm sure is not accurate, was so engrossed in his reading didn't notice the line before says, "That's a long line." Without hesitation a student sitting in the line jumps up and responds with "Yeah a long line of disappointment."

5. One morning a student walks in late with a green, paper mustache taped to his face. I acknowledge his nice mustache and the student kindly thanks me for noticing. Just because I had to see where this could lead I asked him if he grew it over night. He responded by informing me that it was just a fake one and pulled it off to confirm his point. I respectfully let him know that he had me fooled but also told him he would need to keep it off and store it in his backpack. His response "You're a silly goose. You thought this was real." Yes child I thought your green paper mustache was the real McCoy.

4. During a lesson on fire safety the counselor asked "If there is a fire, what number do you call?" The class shouted with gusto "9-1-1!" One kiddo quickly pointed out that that's for the number for the police. The counselor confirmed but also explained that it is actually the number you call for any emergency. Before he could complete his thought another kid proclaimed "Or if you see a peeping tom."

3. A prime example of the when the student becomes the teacher. Kid - "I'm done with breakfast." Me - (noticing the unopened milk about to be tossed) "Are you going to drink your milk?" Kid - "no." Me - "Can I have it?" Kid - "Well you can at least say please." Me - "you're right. May I please have your milk?" Kid - "That sounds better. Yes." 

2. One day I did a cartwheel for my kids as part of a reward system (it's amazing what these kids will do for some of the silliest things). When I finished, I made the comment that I was getting old and that was a lot easier when I was younger. This conversation occurred: Kid1 - "Ms. Darlington are you ok?" Me - "I'm fine thanks. Just getting old." Kid2 - "Are you going to die?" Me - "Not today." Kid2 - "Tomorrow?" Me - "I hope not." Kid2 - "the next day?" Me - "do you want me to die?" Kid2 - "no." Kid3 - "Ms. D is alive - Hooray!!!" Kid4 - "when was she not alive?" Kid3 - "you're alive right Ms. D?" Me - "yes, yes I am."

AND DRUM ROLL PLEASE ... BRRRRRBRRRRBBRRRRRBRRRRRRRR (it's the best I could do alright. If you require an Actual drum roll, <-- click there). By far the most awkward moment in the classroom ....

1. We were practicing counting by 2s. As a teacher, I understand that sometimes abstract ideas need to be made concrete. So I had the kids touch their ears, shoulders, hips, knees, and feet as they counted. We discussed that we all have 2 of each. Then a kids stands up, walks over, and points to my breasts and says "you have two of those" ... yes ... yes I do. Thanks for pointing out my womanly features you weirdo!

180 Days Around the Sun

What can be done in 180 days around the world? Let me tell you. 180 days seems like an eternity when I am living each one with 20 little people who can't tie their own shoes or button their own pants or think "hanitizer" (hand sanitizer) is an acceptable alternative to washing their hands after the using the bathroom. But then the last day comes and it seems like yesterday they came in as scared little post-kinders. Through the good and the bad, the happy and the sad (is there a song out there with those lyrics?? If not - DIBS!) each one becomes a part of who I am and I hope I have become a part of who they are.

Every year I read them a good-bye poem ... and cry ... this year was no different for me. My kiddos even joined in this time. Some openly crying, some quietly shedding a tear, some being "manly" and holding it back and ... well, some laughing because their teacher was crying (can't win them all). However what made this year a little different (and a little more special) was that I shared the fact that I wouldn't be returning next year to watch them grow and become amazing 2nd graders, 3rd graders, and so on. This caused more drainage of the eyes and a stampede towards the tissue boxes. As my kiddos showered me with hugs and compliments, I'll miss yous and don't leaves, I clearly saw the bond that we created that only we can measure with our time and experiences together. 

It was that moment that I also realized that all the testing, data reports, grades, and other paperwork don't accurately reflect the achievements made in the past year of me and MY kids. I've seen them stubble, fall, regress, and struggle but most of all I have seen them find success. I've seen them conquer the seemingly impossible in their eyes and accomplish their goals. I've seen them shout for joy when completing a task and exclaim "I did it Ms. D. I did it all by myself!" Kids who couldn't read are now reading. Kids who couldn't write are now writing. Kids who once thought they were worth nothing now see how much they are truly worth. That's what 180 days can do.

One quoteable moment happened when the school counselor was giving the stranger danger talk.  He asked "Is your teacher a stranger?" The class responds "No!" while one kid, who looks at our daily count chart, states, "Well we've know her for 138 days. It was a little weird on day one having a stranger for a teacher but she's not now. We like her." 42 days later here are a few of the compliments I received. 

This is probably my favorite sketch .... the hair is simply amazing and I'm still trying to decide if the Ninjago kid has an extra large sleeve or is wearing a cape. 

These are technically not a note but they are beautiful! (And I can now say a boy gave me flowers.)

It was a great year with many memories, funny moments, good laughs, and lots of learning.

What Once Was Lost ...

Is now found!! 

At one point in my life I had zero e-mail accounts. I suppose anyone over the age of 15 can say the same. None the less, with a burst of internet excitement, I somehow ended up with more email accounts  than anyone could really need. As luck would have it, I lost the password to the account I used to create  this blog. AND it only took me a year to recover it! I am that good. Hackers don't have anything on me.  

Well now that I am back in action, I have 9 months of classroom history to relive. Some enjoyable ... others I'd rather forget. But I have Mark Zuckerberg to thank and grovel to for not letting those precious moments slip away. In the near future, you can check back in to relive those moments ... maybe with more detail (if I can dust off the ol' memory bank). But I could never just post without a little something to haunt your dreams. Heaven knows mine are haunted and misery loves company. So come on over and join me in my torture ... er ... teaching delights. 

Today's momentous moment:
It's Friday - the end of a long week of no internet, no air, no subs, and eventually no sanity. I was just hoping to get through the day without any major crisis. But my kiddos do NOT disappoint. Where chaos is lacking, they are there to provide! Alas, we are sitting on the carpet reviewing math ... or reading ... I don't even know anymore ... just something educational and relevant to schooling. After reviewing and explaining I ask for questions. And here is the next conversation ...

Me: Yes student (I can't use their names and I'm too tired to  generate a pseudonym)
Kid: Do cats lick their hands?
Me: They don't have hands. They have paws.
Kid: Ok - do they lick their paws?
Me: Yes. 
Kid: (starts licking his hands)
Me: Umm - what are you doing?
Kid: I'm a cat. I'm licking my paws.

Next thing I know several kids have decided they are cats and are now licking their hands. What a germophobic nightmare!! That's the moment I tipped my hat and said yet another goodbye to a normal day.